For thousands of years, women have been viewed as a means of pleasing men. Not as a way to share a loving bond, but as a way to serve them. We have allowed this perspective to dominate how our society views women and dehumanizes them. What happens when a woman says no? When she decides that she is only responsible for her happiness? Her safety? Her body?
A woman’s choice was taken for 7 hours. That’s how long a school day is. During that same time, I hear complaints throughout, wishing the day were over. All that happens for us is sitting and learning.
What happens when a woman can’t say no? When she is completely and physically unable to say no. Her body was considered ‘available’ for the taking. Seven boys called her ‘free’ in a 57-persongroup chat.
Two years ago at Cornell University, at a frat called Chi Phi, a 20-year-old woman, now known nationally as Jane Doe, was drugged and sexually assaulted. The night of, she had consumed marijuana, ketamine, and alcohol. Some claim that due to her substance abuse that night, the assault was as much her fault as the assaulters. However, that’s entirely false; it means she was incapable of giving consent. She was with somebody she considered her ‘friend’. Somebody she trusted.
This seven-hour assault included vaginal penetration, forced oral penetration and taking lines of ketamine on Doe’s body. Throughout the assault, they continued to force ketamine to keep her incapacitated for the remainder of the assault. The assault lasted from the night of October 19 to 5:45 AM on October 20. That is a full night’s sleep.
Some of the consequences they were given for their actions were literal schoolwork. Essays. They had to write essays. That is something you write to get an A on your To Kill a Mockingbird lesson. This is not a punishment for forcing a woman to use substances. This is not a punishment for sexually assaulting a woman for 7 hours.
Two of the 7 were expelled. Two of the seven were given suspensions, mandated sexual harassment education, no-contact orders, and reflection essays. Do you see any incarceration? Any formal justice? Cornell seemed to care more about the boys’ future than giving them fair consequences for their actions. Sexual harassment education for boys who got into an Ivy League school. The other 50 boys in the group chat faced no consequences. Their silence speaks just as much as the actual assault.
Plenty of women are assaulted in their lifetime. Whether a kid without a strong voice or a woman given a drug, sexual assault has the same effect. Statistically, almost 50% of women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime in the US. Only 1 out of 3 women report these crimes. That’s a huge percentage. That’s why this has blown up online and led to thousands of women sharing their stories. With the threat of Jane Doe’s identity being revealed, women are standing up and saying, “I am Jane Doe.”
I don’t care if this makes you uncomfortable. Do you think Doe was comfortable with 7 men using her? Do you think Giselle Pelicot, a French activist, was comfortable with her husband giving her unconscious body away to strangers?
While this is an ongoing case, it has an insane amount of media coverage. This isn’t the only case, though. Thousands of people are living with the effects of sexual assault. For some reason, this has become the new normal.
So what happens when a boy ignores a woman’s words? When he takes her silence as consent. Her unconsciousness as a yes. When he gives 57 others consent for her.
Notice how I never called them men.
