“I don’t like this girl who sits next to me in English. Any advice on how to survive sitting next to her?”
Yamilet: Just be honest and tell her to move. If you’re in assigned seats, tell her you’re not interested in being friends. Just pretend you’re Regina George and everyone else is Cady Heron.
Jordan: Try to focus on your assignments, I suppose. Unless she’s overtly annoying and feels the need to continuously assert herself into your space. Then, maybe backhand her. Or if you really want a serious answer, bring the problem up with your teacher and find a way to sit somewhere else.
“How to tell your friend to lower their ego, but in a nice way...”
Yamilet: Simply say, “You can’t win or be the best at everything — you’re great, but you’re not better than everyone else and definitely not at everything, and you’re certainly not Batman.”
Jordan: I’m not sure there really is a nice way to say that. Maybe just subtly demean them every time they speak like they know what they’re talking about (“haha, sure you do, bud”). That usually knocks down people’s egos a few notches.
“I’m taking college classes, and it’s a lot of work. I get everything done, and then I’m burnt out and have no energy to do anything. Sometimes I forget to eat and sleep because I’m so busy with work. How do I get everything done without burning myself out?”
Yamilet: Take some time for yourself; school is not everything. As someone who is always busy with school assignments, make at least an hour a day to rest and do anything that sounds fun for you.
Jordan: Plan your days out! When I was swamped with work last year, I found that a planner really helped me balance both schoolwork and free time. In doing so, I then knew what I had to do for the day and what I could get away with leaving for another time.
“How to ask Yamilet out?”
Yamilet: As this is about me, I would appreciate some tulips and some chips, but overall, just a can-do personality.
Jordan: Um. Well. That’s a loaded question. I mean, I’ve never personally considered asking her out myself, but I assume she’d appreciate some flowers or a food of her liking. That’s what I would appreciate, anyway.
“How do I handle someone stalking my boyfriend after I asked them to stop? No glue, no borax, no violence.”
Yamilet: Break up with him. Two birds with one stone; the drama is gone, too!
Jordan: If you mean this seriously, please report this behavior to a trusted adult or the police. Stalking is a serious criminal offense. Collect as much evidence as you can and stay safe.
“Long distance date ideas?”
Yamilet: A phone call?
Jordan: I’ve never been in a long-distance relationship, so I’m certainly not the most qualified to speak on this topic, but perhaps try ordering a surprise takeout meal for your partner or mailing each other cute letters. You know. Like men used to do before they turned evil.
“Should I quit my job?
Yamilet: Don’t listen to Jordan; do a big “I Quit!” speech as you slam your uniform on the floor.
Jordan: Personally, I would drop the job. Looking over all the evidence you’ve given us, it looks like they don’t value you and your time. If they can’t even consistently schedule you, it likely means they’ll be looking to make some layoffs soon. It’s unfortunate, but the best thing you can do about it is be civil.
